Don't look a gifthorse in the mouth. Seriously. Don't.

If you know me at all, you know I'm a big believer in the Law of Attraction. No, this is not the law that says the more cologne you wear the more you get laid. This is the law that says "like attracts like"; what you put your focus on you get back in kind.

I was reading the book E-Squared the other day and it suggests putting an intention out into the Universe to receive a gift within forty-eight hours. I did that. I like presents.

That weekend we were heading to Austin to meet up with some friends. I'm the worst person to take a road trip with because my anxiety in traffic is out of control. The only way we can take a happy trip is if my husband makes me a special sippy cup to take on the road. If revealed, Texas law enforcement would certainly frown upon my coping technique, but regardless, it was necessary.

As we were driving down the highway, a very clear image popped in my head of us getting pulled over. There was a strong suggestion in the message to put my sippy cup in the door compartment immediately. Then the image and message disappeared. Like a boss, I ignored it.

 Yeah. Google "cop that looks like Dick Cheney" and no shit, you get this guy.

Yeah. Google "cop that looks like Dick Cheney" and no shit, you get this guy.

Well. I'll be damned if not less than two minutes down the road the state trooper's lights started flashing. I had seen it - CLEARLY seen it - and ignored it. My husband pulled over and I hid my wine in the door, as previously instructed.

A cop that looked like Dick Cheney approached, said something about why you going so fast, pondered the situation for a second, then let us go with just a warning. Ahh. A sigh of relief. All was right with the world.

We continued on down the road as if nothing had happened, each thinking our own thoughts to the hum of the engine. I'd remembered about the intention I put out into the Universe to receive a gift, and asked..."Hey Universe, where's my gift anyway?" An intense feeling came over me; something like are you freaking serious lady? And then the image of the cop letting us go flashed in my head.

I started laughing. Uncontrollably. My husband looked at me with the usual look he gives me because he thinks I'm weird and doesn't even want to know what it is this time.

How had I missed the fact that this was a gift? I got a clear premonition, we got pulled over for speeding with an open container in the car, and we got let go. Because I'm so dim, apparently, the Universe decided it was time to give me a little more obvious of a gift - something I'd never forget.

If you've ever been to Austin, you know that a cab is the only sensible way to get home after an evening on 6th Street. When we were all partied out, we called a cab and within moments an Armenian gentleman screeched up to the curb. We all piled in, my husband in the front and the other three of us in the back. He sped away before the last foot was in the car. A couple of nervous glances were shared before the cabbie punched it, swerved off to the right and just barely missed a horse drawn carriage.

My friend squeezed my hand. The driver had a captive audience.

Soon, after he'd woven his way wildly through the streets of Austin, we were on the freeway cruising at a fun ninety miles per hour. It's customary, at least in my experience, to slow down when traffic is coming to a halt, but things must work differently in Armenia. Not only did he not slow down, but he sped up, weaving in an out of traffic, almost clipping a Lambourgini and several other vehicles that were all but stopped.

I have a tendency to overreact in traffic, so it's important to point out that my husband and his friend are war veterans. They aren't scared of things. They eat kittens for breakfast. Every single fingernail in the car was either dug in someone elses skin, or in the upholstery of the seat.

I closed my eyes and started doing some serious praying. From time to time, my friend's nails would dig in a little more deeply, signaling that we were either approaching or escaping death yet again. I couldn't bear to watch anymore. I would have shit my pants but all sphincters were secured tightly shut.

 This is what we looked like

This is what we looked like

I sensed that we'd taken an exit and knew the hotel was very close. Right then, I got another very clear message that said, "Is this obvious enough for you? Huh?!"

Don't ever look a gifthorse in the mouth. The Universe has a wicked sense of humor.