Fancy floor art

Fancy new floor art

Fancy new floor art

Recently my husband and I bought this exclusive floor art. If you haven't heard of it, don't beat yourself up too bad. It's the new rage, actually.

A few of my friends have similar floor art of their own, but they're so low rent they let their dogs lay on it. I mean, WHO DOES THAT?

Ours was really expensive, so the last thing I want are mangy ass dogs lounging around on it. Because our mangy ass dogs go jump on our bed when we aren't looking. They would never lay on the floor art, because that would be wrong. Right.

This is yet another reason why dogs are a big fat pain in the ass. What dog would not want to lay on these fluffy, fashionable, comfy beds? Ours.

No, instead they lie on the hard floor, and as soon as we turn our heads, they run and jump on my fucking comforter. And I hate their fat stupid guts for it.

A cat will unapologetically lay down right on your face and act like it belongs there, but dogs are sneaky and underhanded. Then they look at you with those big, fat, stupid brown eyes when you yell at them, and then you're the one that feels like shit when you didn't even do anything wrong!

So now we have these big fat beds taking up space on our floor and nobody's using them. How do I trick the dogs into liking their beds before it just becomes floor art?

Screw your bed, lady.

Screw your bed, lady.