Haiku Tuesday


There's a girl Yeti

Living inside my mirror

Can't make that bitch leave


Sometimes little girls

Want to marry their daddies

And that shit is gross


Yoga pants are one

Calories are another

Enemies of me


Pretty is a curse

Major overabundance

Of it on my face


Dog gives me that look

I'm like...get a fucking job

But then I feel bad




Why me why today

Pajamas are all dirty

Guess I'll go naked


Whether doing laundry,

cleaning floors or making bed

Ovaries are required


Mad, people will get

If you tell joke on Twitter

Malaysia. Too soon.


See kid with cookie?

Tell him to look over there

And take the cookie


Animals feel bad

When they can't open a jar

Sorry guys, no thumbs