Boy: I think something's wrong with two of my fish. They're just like, floating there with their tails stuck together.
Me: No, they're fine. They're just enjoying a little afternoon ardor.
Me: Just turn on a little Marvin Gay and give them a few minutes alone.
Boy: I don't get it.
Me: You know...they're doing the romance. Making babies. Getting their grooooove on.
Boy: You make everything so awkward.
My work here is done.