The heart wants what the heart wants

Warning: Today's subject matter is graphic and contains salacious adult content. OK. Not exactly, but it may make you feel uncomfortable and perhaps a little confused, and if so, contact your local family guidance counselor. They can work through those feelings with you.

I have a few favorite videos just like anybody else. Most of the time I look at cat videos, because I have mental problems, but sometimes I think outside the box and type in something different. Today it was "turtle having sex" - a total shot in the dark. I never really expected for anything to come up. But it did.

I like anything that makes me think. I thought a lot about this video, as it taught me many things and inspired so many questions in my mind. Here are the reasons why this video is one of my new favorites:.

  • I thought turtles laid eggs, or perhaps mated telepathically. I had no idea they actually did the business. I thought they were so innocent. I am fascinated.
  • While doing the business, turtle's do the equivalent of Meg Ryan's "When Harry Met Sally" scene. Badass.
  • As you can see, turtle's are just like people, looking for love in all the wrong places. I can imagine this little guy went out on the town and knocked a few back, then when he woke up was like..."Oh shit. I hope I didn't give that shoe my phone number..."
  • Or maybe I'm wrong on that last one. Maybe turtle's don't see color. Or species. This little guy was just walking along, minding his own business, when the sun shone just the right way on those shoe strings from across the room. It was magic. Their eyes met and the rest is history.
  • Or maybe I'm wrong on that last one. Maybe this turtle's just an everyday pervert taking advantage of what he views as a vegetable, helpless against his masculine wiles. What a piece of shit! And to think those people sat idly by and laughed as the rapist screamed his obsenities. That's a turtle I just don't want to know.
  • Turtles have really big dingalings. WHO KNEW!
  • The turtle was unsuccessful in inserting the wiener in any sort of workable crevice. Come to think of it, that's probably what all that screaming was about. Sexual frustration. Poor guy.
  • Turtles have SEX. Weird.

So as you can see, I learned and thought a lot today, and that should be everyone's goal in life, because knowing things is fun. And knowing really ignorant things is even more fun. Google something odd and be fascinated while learning something new today. You won't regret it. You can thank me by sharing your favorite videos. Happy Monday!